silverflight8: bee on rose  (Default)
I'm tired, I spent all day running about with friends (fun but exhausting), I have to get up tomorrow at a reasonable hour, and I can't go to sleep, apparently.

What was going to be an hour of bowling turned into an hour of bowling, then a quick run to the mall (one friend is leaving for two months tomorrow, and needed to return something), then about four hours at karaoke. As a result, I've been earwormed terrifically with this song. I am going to link you to the video with lyrics, because the music video is an incredibly emotionally-manipulative, sad piece of...of...film. WHY are so many Chinese music videos so sad?



*

(Totally unrelated.)

You know, when I used to live in a 4-person household, the milk never went bad. This is because other family members are much bigger fans of milk and obviously we'd drink it long before the expiry date. But on my own, I keep milk mostly for tea, and sometimes I'm unpleasantly surprised by curdled stuff. So I've gotten used to sniffing and tasting milk very carefully every time to make sure it's still okay.

Milk is such a ubiquitous thing that I used to drink it without ever thinking about taste. But now that I have to assess its freshness, I can taste so clearly the animalness of it. It's not milk, it's quite unavoidably liquid that came from an animal, and while it doesn't really gross me out, it's so weird. How does this even come through taste? I think I'd like to go back to my ignorance.

*

THERE ARE TOO MANY BOOKS IN MY ROOM. They're on my shelves and on the floor and under my desk and under my bed and on my night table and stacked on my table and desk and EVERYWHERE. It's starting to drive me a bit bonkers. Every time I tidy up, they just get sprawled everywhere again. I need to make another trip to the library, but I haven't reviewed them yet! Oh god.

While I was waiting for friends this morning--I love them, but J was a full hour late and generally they're never punctual--I sat in Chapters and read Karen Miller's Empress. I've read Karen Miller before--she wrote some really great stuff set in the Star Wars Prequel EU mostly focused on Kenobi and Skywalker (easy path to my heart). Empress is gritty fantasy instead. Somehow, considering the extensive torture sequence in Wild Space, in which iirc Kenobi touched a lightsaber to his wound in order to use the pain to connect with Coruscant (AUGH), I'm not terribly surprised by the darkness of Empress.

The interesting thing (to me, anyway) is that while I'm interested in continuing with Empress, which starts off with the protagonist (a girl) watching her mother be beaten and then raped and being subjected to regular beatings herself--as indeed all the women are in this tiny, desert-locked village--I couldn't get more than five pages past Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall. Like Empress, Wolf Hall starts with a son getting beat by his father, but I think there's a vein of kindness running through Empress that I really didn't think was going to happen in Mantel's novel, and I immediately ditched. Hekat in Empress is definitely subjected to highly distilled misogyny, but she gets away, and starts exploring a new land. Mantel on the other hand--well, it's straight up historical fiction, and there's no getting away.
silverflight8: Barcode with silverflight8 on top and userid underneath (Barcode)
I organized a write-in session (current status of yuletide fic is DEFCON: BEARS) with a couple o' other people in the area who I met through Nanowrimo and are writing year round. This started at six-thirty. I got in, ordered a hot chocolate...and proceeded to do nothing, nothing at all, as far as writing went. I had specifically set up this time to work on the yuletide fic, and....

Except I looked up a lot of etymologies. (Lots of words went from Greek -> Latin -> French -> English, with optional French. I hadn't realized quite so many were though! AND Mavros and Amarante's names (Μαύρος & Αμάραντος) were not made up names they actually have a basis (!!!!!) Best discovery of all day, I can use this in my fic. Not yuletide, the other thing.)

And then, in the thirty minutes before Starbucks closed at 11pm, I managed to write pages. WHAT IS THIS, WHY.
silverflight8: bee on rose  (Bee)
I went back using tags on my LJ to see if I had recorded names (my physical journals are still boxed and inaccessible) and ended up reading through some of my entries. I usually avoid this. Someday I will write things and not be embarrassed to look at them again - fiction is especially bad. My old fic is still available, it even gets comments once in a blue moon, but I can't look. Even though I probably should remove some of the notes on it, and maybe see if the site has messed up my formatting - nope. I can't do it.

My journal entries of two years ago were okay, even if they were publicly posted and I usually get embarrassment squick from public entries more than anything. If I wrote about CLACSTC's flight line today, I'd probably borrow some of that phrasing.

I really miss my physical journals, actually, especially the entries I made of exceptional events (that is to say, not the entries written during say school, or routine events.) When I went to summer camp for the first time, I wrote nothing. The second time, I wrote one page about arriving, and the chaos of it all; looking back later, I was incredibly frustrated, because a lot of things happened in three weeks and I had recorded nothing. The one entry about arriving was tantalizing but there was no follow up. Time was a problem - I was doing things with the flight all day, then doing homework or working on my uniform during my off-hours, and then lights out was pretty early - but I was bitterly disappointed nothing had been properly recorded.

The third time I went to summer camp, I brought my new, nice journal and was determined to write things down. And I did. I had to sit in the bathroom (they were ensuite) most nights, because the patrolling staff could see the lights in the room, but not the lights in the bathroom, after lights-out. I would write really fast because lights-out was eleven, but we had to get up at five or five-thirty just to get ready, despite our regulated wake-up timing being six o'clock*. I do have records for those six weeks, but, as I said - they're still in boxes, and I hope they aren't mildewed yet.

I keep straying from the point. I'm not sure that journal writing is cathartic or anything for me, but it leaves a trail behind me, which is what I want. My parents made me write a journal from the age of five or six, and they're full of strange things I haven't thought about in a long time. In the beginning, when I was in French immersion they had things like "elle regarde l'oiseau" and then English printed below it, with illustrations. Other parts are repetitive and "I went swimming today" repeated on different days, because I went swimming that day and evidently couldn't think of anything else to say. They are very tame because they were read, but it's fascinating to go back and immerse myself in who-I-was. At some point I got tired of trying to find things to say and started a serialized story about my stuffed animals.

I give up. Despite wanting this to have a cohesive point, I've managed to go off on tangents anyway. *posts*

*(I see waking up at five-thirty as a blessing, because technically we were not allowed to get up before six - the boys, quartered in the barracks, weren't allowed out of their beds til six exactly - but the amount of things we had to do in the morning was ridiculous. I mean, be outside in C-4 with room tidied and bed made within 20 minutes? Scratch that, ten minutes, because we had to be early by ten minutes? Are you kidding me?

To be fair, I think they were mandated to have us sleep for seven hours minimum, but it was still ridiculous.)
silverflight8: Different shades of blue flowing on a white background like waves (Fractal)
Doesn't seem to be an easy way to shift pictures around galleries (I had to sort a number of SW gifs out of my unsorted gallery) so this is all under the "Unsorted" album.

[Note: if you're viewing this on my journal on LJ, you will need to use the scrollbar...900px is too wide, so Expressive side-scrolls instead. You can also "View Image" to see the original sizing.]

Large images warning! *wail* And they're sized down! )
silverflight8: bee on rose  (Bee)
Boring text bit )

RAMBLING ASIDE - I have pictures. It is 1 am and I have been working with this set, editing and trying to figure out how to publish - since four, so none of these have commentary. Well, except that the light was very good so most are just a crop and a bit of contrast adjustment, and oh right there's one with desaturated green (you'll see it easily - the flower really looks bright).

Pictures as promised. Two dozen culled from two hundred. )

*This explains why the temperature adjustments seemed necessary! *facepalm*
silverflight8: 2010 Nanowrimo: text "sentences do not require verbs" (Nanowrimo 2010)
Nanowrimo stuff, you're all likely inundated with it already )

But, lest you think my life is a horrid frenzy of speedwalking - which sometimes it is, I have improved both my speedwalking and jaywalking skills - I actually live a lovely life. (This is not reflected on my journal.) And I have pictures which I took on Saturday. I found the most delightful, quaint garden on this ramble.

Click for images! Click on images for enlarged images! )

and now I'm for sleep o/

still here.

Dec. 6th, 2010 10:58 pm
silverflight8: 2010 Nanowrimo: text "sentences do not require verbs" (Nanowrimo 2010)
Posting for twofold reasons:
1. I am still alive; I'm only just being buried under RL, that's all. My to-do list! aaaaah!
2. [livejournal.com profile] onlyjustwhisper and [personal profile] azuire, I shall stick your cards into the mail sometime tomorrow; that means (oh procrastination; I am very sorry) that they'll probably arrive after or on Boxing Day. Sorry. :( This has been a very bad meeting-deadlines year, ever since September, and I do not know why...

I <3 AO3.

Oct. 2nd, 2010 08:36 pm
silverflight8: a blinking Word cursor and text: it mocks me (writing)
This is backdated (date: October 4, 2010) to keep the signal boost on top.

I posted a story on AO3. My reaction: ♥ ♥ ♥

You may consider this as my official squee post for AO3.

Having struggled with fanfic.net's !@#%^&* method--especially the really dumb way of uploading documents, as in it's hard to edit in author's notes in later, have to manually add scene breaks after the asterisks disappear--it's so amazing. Edits can be done on the same page (ZOMG). Character pairings, not just character tags (but ff.net has added the latter, which is nice). You can add trigger warnings! (actually, favorite part about this, since I don't write triggery: it forces authors to either declare their triggers or 'choose not to warn'). Adding author notes! Control over who sees it! Even different skins! A mod-system that's talking to the users!

Don't know much about OTW, as I haven't been really involved in that corner of fandom for a long time--the only reason I've discovered AO3 is because of the help_pakistan effort--but for AO3 alone, they deserve a boatload of internets.
silverflight8: a blinking Word cursor and text: it mocks me (writing)
I wrote a long post with this title. It promptly disappeared when I switched from HTML reader to Rich Text. I haven't the heart to type it up again (it was very long, full of random side notes and strange things) so I'm just going to assume one of the fates has indicated that she does not like my post--more likely than not--and so ate my post. (Actually, I think maybe I put in the WRONG CODE FOR THE CUT *hits self on head* OH VERY SMART.) Except writing nothing would feel very strange. Hence this mutant paragraph. Heh.

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